And now for something completely different...

Helga's Big (Mis)adventure 11/17/09

helgabee@well.com — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:30:46 GMT

Oh, look. See Helga. See Helga walk up Madison Avenue. See Helga trip over a temporary barricade and fall on her face.

See the three kind gentlemen pick Helga up and put her back together again. See the nice man (handing out fliers on the corner) wipe the blood off her face with a napkin.

See bronxbob350 leave work early to take Helga home. See girasole fuss and provide treats.

See Helga's souvenirs: assorted scrapes and bruises, one Very Big Lump on forehead, and some warm & fuzzy feelings toward her fellow New Yorkers.

RIP Patrick Swayze...

helgabee@well.com — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 01:53:24 GMT

... You'll be missed.

Automotive follies: a rant

helgabee@well.com — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 13:52:00 GMT

The family car is a 16 year old Plymouth Voyager, increasingly tired & cranky, so this summer's project is car shopping. My job is background research to identify possibilities & find convenient dealers. Here's how it's going:

Round 1: Much time wasted on looking at & test driving new minivans (Honda, Toyota). Turns out "minivans" are now a solid two feet longer than they were back in '93. Barely fits in garage, barely fits in driveway, barely fits in street. These cars are nearly as long as our neighbor's house is wide. Nice & comfy, though. Back to drawing board.

Round 2: Look for smaller car that will fit in driveway, garage, etc., AND comfortably seat 6 or 7 adults. Not possible under the current laws of physics. Compromise on car that will comfortably seat 4 adults and semi-comfortably seat a few more (Kia, Toyota). Could not test-drive either candidate yesterday as needed 6-cylinder models not in stock.

When bronxbob350 & I tried to leave the Toyota dealership yesterday afternoon, the Voyager died. Cue comedy hour, as Toyota staff worked with our mechanic (by phone) to try & start the durn thing. This included hitting things under the hood with a large hammer, to no avail. 2-1/2 hours sitting in the parking lot playing gin rummy & waiting for a AAA tow, finally got ourselves & car back to our mechanic. (Did I mention that the AC on the Voyager is dead?)

Now I have to go parley with my mechanics (great guys) to see if they can make the Voyager last another few weeks. We think it's the starter, but who knows.

Very tired of this, want a new car to magically appear in my driveway now please. Anybody got a magic wand?

Attention SF fans in the NYC area!

helgabee@well.com — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 19:09:35 GMT

If you want a true alien food experience, head oout to the Argonaut Diner on Yonkers Avenue and order a hot fudge sundae, as I just did.

Their "hot fudge" is the damndest thing I ever ate. It isn't a viscous liquid, it's a gelatinous solid. It won't drip. You can cut it with a knife. It's also stretchy, has a shiny near-black color and a bit of a chocolate taste. I was so fascinated by the texture that I actually ate the whole thing (except for the parts eaten by bronxbob350 , for corroboration). No sign of sprouting tentacles yet, just a bit of a bellyache.

Blech

helgabee@well.com — Fri, 29 May 2009 17:49:49 GMT

I just tried out a local restaurant which claims to specialize in both sushi & tacos. (Yes, you read that right.) Alas, the enchiladas taste like what you'd expect of Mexican food made by Japanese cooks in an Irish neighborhood. Now I know.

Well, I woke up this morning...

helgabee@well.com — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 13:03:17 GMT

... from a dream in which I was being menaced by a large, rampaging, French --- tree.

I don't know whether to blame the allergy meds or too much Disney as a child. I do know it's hard to get back to sleep when you're laughing so hard.

The wheat pie has landed

helgabee@well.com — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 22:09:41 GMT

I made a wheat pie for Easter dinner this year, cobbled together from four different recipes. It came out of the oven looking like something from outer space but settled down nicely as it cooled:

It was pretty tasty too, although it weighed more than anything I've ever made. (It was only 9" across.)

NB to parisgreen and darth_libris : Most of the recipes I've looked at say you can substitute barley for the wheat berries.

Happy Easter, everybody!

Another reason I love living in NYC

helgabee@well.com — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 03:15:09 GMT

I'm reading a really interesting book on -- of all things -- the decipherment of cuneiform texts (Lesley Adkins' Empires of the Plain), so this afternoon I took myself down to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and looked at their Mesopotamian stuff, which includes lots of cuneiform tablets and inscriptions.

And then I had a yummy Italian dinner with the rest of the Yellow Submarine ( bronxbob350 , girasole , and the LJ-less Infomancer) and went back to the Met for a concert of mariachi music.

I love this town.

A request for computer advice

helgabee@well.com — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 15:18:21 GMT

My Sony Vaio is running like someone poured molasses on it so, at the suggestion of my local computer repair shop, I'm going to uninstall Norton and replace it with Avast. I will of course back up my stuff beforehand, but am still somewhat nervous about the whole procedure.

Does anybody out there have any advice or words of encouragement?

Also, my copy of Microsoft got completely screwed a while back, so I've been using OpenOffice which I like just fine. Is there any reason to keep Microsoft Office as well, or can I just ditch the damn thing?

Proof of Spring

helgabee@well.com — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 21:54:24 GMT

This morning I handed in my portfolio for the drawing class just ended (will scan & post some work as soon as the instructor returns it), then spent the day wandering around the Bronx Botanical Garden looking for signs of spring.

Art (sort of)

helgabee@well.com — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 19:20:48 GMT

Here's one I couldn't resist:

This is most of my work for the natural science drawing course I just took, airing after having been sprayed with fixative, which is vile and toxic stuff. This is everything except the final project, which would be fighting me tooth and claw if it had either teeth or claws -- it's a really beautiful trilobite and is just giving me fits. All this has to be handed in on Wednesday so I suspect I won't be seeing the St. Patrick's Day parade live this year.

I really like the sort of Japanese feel of the drawings handing on the clothesline.

Happy Birthday...

helgabee@well.com — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:30:28 GMT

... to marinarusalka !!! You are a shining star!

With a nod of appreciation to "The K Chronicles"

helgabee@well.com — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 14:55:03 GMT

It's one of life's little victories when:

You're sick in bed with a cold, there's a ton of snow outside (still falling), and ---

your neighbor with the big-ass snowblower clears your sidewalk!

YES!!!!!!!

(And BIG thanks to whichever member of the Smith clan is responsible.)

Just for the Record

helgabee@well.com — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 23:25:21 GMT

I retired exactly one year ago and haven't regretted it for a moment. This is even more fun than I thought it would be. Woohoo! Yay me!

Ah, modern life

helgabee@well.com — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 22:35:50 GMT

My local Chase branch has one ATM -- in the parking lot, where it used to be the drive-up window. It's really weird standing in a line of cars while awaiting your turn at the machine. Makes me wish I had a clown car.

UPDATE: I neglected to mention that I'm on foot in this line. Everybody else is in a car.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

helgabee@well.com — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 21:55:46 GMT

popfiend , may your birthday be perfect in every way, filled with wifely cuddles (feel better, Lisa!) and friendly good wishes. And may you never run out of tears of joy!

The thing about this drawing class...

helgabee@well.com — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 21:14:43 GMT

... is that it's way more challenging than I realized. Natural history specimen are much more complicated than leaves -- You'd think I'd have figured that out. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving it even though it's completely eating my life. What I find discouraging is that nothing I've done for this class is actually finished yet. Moe the leaf turtle shell? "Just a bit more to do" (and that's what I thought last time too). Quincy the (cross-sectioned) nautilus shell? "About an hour more" -- that's probably 2 hours if you're me. As for Percival the raccoon skull, which I just acquired today, don't even ask. This is all by way of explaining why I haven't put up any of my work yet.

I'll stop whining now, I promise. Thanks for listening. I'll feel better as soon as I finish something, anything.

25 Things About Me, At Last

helgabee@well.com — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:01:12 GMT

1. I don't generally do memes, and never tag.

2. I've always lived in New York City, which is convenient, because there's no place else I've ever wanted to live.

3. I once snuck into Carnegie Hall to see a James Taylor concert.

4. I love baking; my favorite thing to bake is apple pie.

5. I'm a pure product of the New York City school system, from kindergarten through grad school.

6. I've been to Siberia. And Mongolia. And Patagonia. I like traveling to places that are very different from home.

7. I went to see the Grateful Dead at the Fillmore East just about every time they played there. The trick was to go to the late show, because the Dead would play all night, from about 1 AM until 5 or so.

8. My middle name is Anna; I was named for 1) my mother (Annamarie), my paternal grandmother (Anna), and 3) my maternal grandmother and her eight sisters, all of whom had Anna as a middle name. At least one of my great-grandmothers was named Anna as well.

9. If I could have one talent that I lack, it would be a decent singing voice; I always wanted to be a backup singer for a rock & roll band.

10. I grew up with three family groups: my mother's, my father's, and a large Italian family which had sort of adopted my mother as a child. I liked Grandma Albanese's cooking best.

11. I love to travel, but am really timid about going places by myself for the first time.

12. I started college as a math major, but got over it after just one semester. I graduated with a degree in German, because it was easy for me and I already knew I wanted to become a librarian.

13. I wish I had a time machine, so I could go back and find out what the past was really like. I'm not so interested in traveling to the future, probably the result of watching too many episodes of The Twilight Zone.

14. I've seen The Magnificent Seven so many times that I can still recite the dialogue as I watch it.

15. Mrs. Peel (of the Avengers) is my hero.

16. I think Hugh Jackman is totally hot, but my true love is Denzel Washington.

17. I hate reality TV, except for Ghost Hunters.

18. I love hardware stores, even though I don't know what most of the stuff is. This dates back to when I was a little kid trailing around after my father on Saturday mornings.

19. I've read Moby-Dick three times, only once for school.

20. If I could have any piece of art to hang on my wall, I'd choose either one of those small Rembrandt landscape drawings, or a Joseph Cornell box. I lived about half a mile from Cornell as a child (I had no idea), and am haunted by the likelihood that I passed him on the street or at the local supermarket.

21. My least favorite thing in the entire world is speaking in public.

22. My first language was German, taught to me by my grandmother. I forgot it all when I learned English shortly thereafter, but could always understand what people were saying, so my parents couldn't lapse into old-country talk if they wanted to keep secrets from me.

23. I hate camping. I do not camp. It's my firm belief that the highest achievement of humankind is indoor plumbing.

24. The thing I've never done that I'd most like to is see the northern lights.

25. I really can believe six impossible things before breakfast.

Smurched

helgabee@well.com — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 21:47:21 GMT

... from hughcasey , via kradical .

When you see this, post your favorite poem.

So here's Especially When the October Wind, by Dylan Thomas

Especially when the October wind
With frosty fingers punishes my hair,
Caught by the crabbing sun I walk on fire
And cast a shadow crab upon the land,
By the sea's side, hearing the noise of birds,
Hearing the raven cough in winter sticks,
My busy heart who shudders as she talks
Sheds the syllabic blood and drains her words.

Shut, too, in a tower of words, I mark
On the horizon walking like the trees
The wordy shapes of women, and the rows
Of the star-gestured children in the park.
Some let me make you of the vowelled beeches,
Some of the oaken voices, from the roots
Of many a thorny shire tell you notes,
Some let me make you of the water's speeches.

Behind a post of ferns the wagging clock
Tells me the hour's word, the neural meaning
Flies on the shafted disk, declaims the morning
And tells the windy weather in the cock.
Some let me make you of the meadow's signs;
The signal grass that tells me all I know
Breaks with the wormy winter through the eye.
Some let me tell you of the raven's sins.

Especially when the October wind
(Some let me make you of autumnal spells,
The spider-tongued, and the loud hill of Wales)
With fists of turnips punishes the land,
Some let me make of you the heartless words.
The heart is drained that, spelling in the scurry
Of chemic blood, warned of the coming fury.
By the sea's side hear the dark-vowelled birds.

What will they think of next?

helgabee@well.com — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:30:32 GMT

There's a graphic novel for knitters! www.comicknits.com/ Yo, marinarusalka , check it out!

Back to the drawing board

helgabee@well.com — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 20:32:26 GMT

After a long hiatus while I waited for the course schedule to come back into sync with my own, I'm taking another drawing class down at the New York Botanical Garden. This one is natural science, so it's bits of dead animals instead of leaves & twigs. I've spent the past week wrestling with Moe, an Asian leaf turtle shell, and am now moving on to Quincy, half a nautilus shell. In both cases I've got to draw two views, i.e. both sides. It's a lot of work and stretching me to my limits and beyond, not to mention an incredible time sink. For the past week I've pretty much done nothing but work on Moe and shovel snow. Oh, and watch the inauguration. At the end of this course, I'm going to have a portfolio five or six finished drawings, plus a final project. It's great to have to look at stuff so closely -- I have a much better idea of how a turtle shell is constructed than I ever would otherwise. Turns out I also get to keep all the specimens I work with, so I'm starting my very own cabinet of curiosities. All I have to do is figure out how and where to store it all...

The difference between this course and the ones I took last spring is that those taught me basic techniques, and this one's about applying those techniques in actual projects. We're also learning shortcuts, hurrah!, so that meeting a deadline might someday be at least theoretically possible.

Have I mentioned how much fun this is? I'll post one or more drawings eventually, when I've done something I think is half decent.

Free at last

helgabee@well.com — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 17:46:16 GMT

The nightmare is over! Here are the sweetest words I've heard in eight long years: "Former Vice-President Dick Cheney".

Nature, red in tooth and claw

helgabee@well.com — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 21:13:55 GMT

girasole opened the back door this afternoon, and in flew a pretty white moth (or butterfly) with a damaged wing. WTF? What do you do with a flying critter in the middle of the winter, when it's snowing out there? It's now in the cellar with an orange segment in case it's hungry. I even left a light on for it. Is this nuts, or what?

helgabee@well.com — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 13:49:03 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY drewshi !!!

Happy 2009!

helgabee@well.com — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 05:02:32 GMT

Happy New Year!!! This is gonna be great...